smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize
