I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
