I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
