I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
