Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
