It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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