Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
