i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Duck Duck Cougar?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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