She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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