I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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