i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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