oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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