What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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