Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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