i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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