Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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