yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
