i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
