Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
