then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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