I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The air was thick with penises
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
