So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
this hospital has no fireball
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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