I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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