Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
