well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sext me about skeletons
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
