Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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