it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
