Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
