i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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