you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
