Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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