my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
