Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Mom said you looked used
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
