thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We are all done wearing pants today
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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