Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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