Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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