So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
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