i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well I just put wine in my tea
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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