I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
