Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
