whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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