Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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