You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
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After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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