thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
