i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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