My first STD was from a foam party
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
