Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
