Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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