R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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