She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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