I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
