Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How does it feel to date your dad?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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