tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
