hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
