I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
