omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
