last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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