I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
