its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
