I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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